Gone Wild - Chapter Twenty Seven

 The doctor finally releases me after a few days. My heart sinks every time I think of it. The doctors offered to let me hold the baby, but I refused. I didn't want to see the little life that was once my hope of moving on. I didn't even want to know if the baby was a girl or boy. I knew if I knew, it would only haunt me. Chris handled everything with the baby. 

I head to the bathroom to take a nice hot bath. I had been in the hospital for a week, and a hot bath was something that I missed. 

I sat in the bath until the water started to turn cold. After I dry off and get dressed, I look at myself in the mirror. I hate who is staring back at me. I can't stand my life anymore. I want to run away from all this pain that is ripping me apart from the inside out. 

I decide that I want a change in my life. I let down my new colored hair, put makeup on, and then chose a pretty purple dress. My body has gone back to normal. It's hard to believe I was pregnant only a few weeks ago. I take a look at myself in the mirror. I love my new look. I'm going to go out and experience the world for the first time. Knowing how Chris will protest, I know I will have to avoid him. 

I manage to sneak past Chris, who is asleep on the couch. I head down to the beach. It's just me with the ocean singing to me as the waves come crashing in. 

I pick up a few rocks, skip them across the water. I use to love to do this when I was younger. 

As I'm throwing rocks, I see a rainbow not too far off. It's breathtaking! 

The sun is slowly setting as I make my back up to the house. 

When I arrive, I see Chris standing on the porch with a terrible look on his face. "Where have you been? What have you done to yourself?" he shouts at me.

"It's none of your business. I can go and do as I like, I don't need you to protect me anymore. I don't care if they get me. Let them come! I'm not going to hide for the rest of my life," I shout back at him. His face falls into a frown. 

"You don't want me to protect you anymore? What's going on with you? You're worrying me," Chris says in a sad voice. "Well, don't!" I shout. "Emily, where are you going?" he shouts after me. "Don't follow me," I shout over my shoulder as I leave Chris with his mouth hanging open. 

 I look back after I get down to the beach. Chris is nowhere in sight. I let out a sigh of relief. I didn't want to fight with him. I walk down the beach until I come to one of the local hangouts. Pouring a glass, I drink it really fast. It tastes horrible, but by the second one, it's not that bad.

I have lost track of how many drinks I have had when I almost stumble down the steps. 

After I finish my drink in hand, I head to the dance floor and cut loose. 

Dancing has only made me more thirsty, so I get another drink. After finishing it off, the room starts to spin a bit. I think I have had way too much to drink. 

I try to walk back the way I came but stumble. I had no choice but to call a cab. 

 It seems like a long ride home, and I know I'm going to have to hear it from Chris. Ugg, what to tell him. I shrug the thought off. I can go and do as I please.

When I get home, I try to walk up the steps but only manage to stumble.

When I enter the house, I'm surprised that Chris is not waiting for me. I manage to get over to the couch before I fall. Chris stirs me from my sleep. I must have passed out on the couch. I sit up slowly as I try to get my bearings. I wasn't sure how long I had been asleep. 

When I finally focus, Chris is sitting there staring at me with a worried look on his face. "Where have you been?" he demands. "Don't treat me like a child," I say in a hateful tone. 

Chris goes to walk away when I grab ahold of his arm. "Don't be mad at me," I beg as I try to pull Chris to me. 

He gets up and pulls me to him. "Do you know how worried I was? I looked everywhere for you. I thought they found you," he chokes out. He releases me, finding his will to calm down. 

"I'm tired, I want a normal life," I cry out. Chris stares at me in silence. "So this is what you call a normal life? Look at you, Emily. You don't look or act like the girl I fell in love with. What happened to you?" he says with sadness in his voice.

I push Chris backward causing him to stumble onto the couch. In a bold move, I climb right on his lap, straddling him. His eyes are wide. "Emily!" he chokes out. 

I lean close to him, making him take in a deep breath. "What are you doing? Your not your usual self," he whispers. "I'm finally living," I reply. 

Running my hand down his neck, I feel him tense. He never breaks eye contact from me.

Pulling him close, I kiss his lips. "Emily, we can't," he says. "Yes we can, we can do whatever we want to. It's my life, and I'm choosing to make my own decisions," I tell him as I run my fingers through his hair. 

"What happened to taking things slow?" he asks. "I'm going to live each moment like it's my last, and right now, I want you," I tell him as I plant another kiss on his lips. He ponders it for only a moment. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me closer. 

Chris holds me tight."Emily, please. It's too soon, your only doing this because your upset." he says. "Chris, are you refusing me?" I ask, stunned. "Yes," he replies.

The Baby - Chapter Twenty Six

Chris sets off to go to work, leaving me alone in our new house we are renting. I give him a hug, followed by a kiss. "I will see you soon," he says. I grin at him as he leaves. 

I finish washing the dishes, then finish cleaning up the kitchen. I never thought I would be in this role a year ago. I prefer this simple life instead of what my parents had planned for me. I don't think I would ever make a good ruler. 

I finish cleaning the house, and I'm exhausted. Being pregnant has taken its toll on my body. I head upstairs to take a nap before Chris gets off work. I lay down on the bed, welcoming its comfort. Before I know it, I fall into a deep sleep.   

I'm jolted out of my sleep by a strange pain. I sit up, swinging my legs over the edge of the bed. I rub my face trying to get my bearings. 

Still disoriented, a sharp pain rips through my stomach. Grabbing my belly, I hold my stomach as the cramping gets harder and longer each time. I try to steady myself as another sharp pain starts. 

As the pain eases up for a brief second, I go to stand up and notice there is blood on my hands. My heart begins to race as I look down at my pants. 

I have blood all over my paints. The baby! I grab my phone off the bedside table and dial Chris's number. He answers on the second ring. "Chris, help! It's the baby! I think I'm losing it," I cry out. "I'm leaving right now. I should be there in a few minutes, be ready when I get there. We will head to the hospital," he commands with panic in his voice.

I take a steady breath and walk downstairs. The pain is getting worse with every step I take. I'm almost to the bottom of the steps when I become light-headed. I grab ahold of the railing to keep myself from falling. 

When I get to the bottom of the stairs, I make it only a few feet when I collapse to the ground. Everything is starting to spin, and I can feel myself about ready to blackout. 

Everything goes black. 

I feel Chris shaking me. "Emily! Emily," he screams at me. I can't move, but I open my eyes to let him know I'm still here. "God, you have lost a lot of blood. Stay with me," he says as he pulls me into his arms. "The baby," I say as tears fill my eyes. 

I manage to put one arm around his neck as he pulls me into his arms. "Hold on, Emily, don't you leave me. Stay awake," he says as he kisses my forehead.  

The car ride I can barely remember, but I start to come to as we enter the emergency room of the hospital. "I need help!" Chris shouts. 

The nurse at the desk heads our way. "Over here," she calls to him. 

She leads us into an exam room. Chris lays me down on the bed. "I'll be right here. Don't you go to sleep on me," he says. "I'll go get the doctor," she tells us before she leaves the room. 

I'm in and out of consciousness. I vaguely remember the doctor examining me. 

"She's hemorrhaging, we need to get her into surgery right now," she tells Chris who goes pale. "Is she going to be alright? he asks. "It's too early to know the extent of her condition. The doctor will know more once he gets her into surgery. As soon as we know anything, we will let you know," the nurse tells Chris. That's the last thing I remember before I blackout.  

I'm slowly stirred from my sleep by Chris running his fingers through my hair. 

I'm still groggy, not sure what had just happened. 

I slowly open my eyes. 

Chris is staring down at me with such a sad face. It takes me by surprise. "Emily, you scared me," he whispers as he strokes my hair once more. 

I grab his hand and pull it to my chest. "I was so scared, I thought I was going to die," I say. I slide my hand down my stomach and find that it's flat. "The baby! Where's my baby?" I choke out. 

I sit up, disregarding the pain in my stomach. Chris moves then drops to his knees in front of me. Taking my hands into his, he pauses. 

"What happened?" I ask Chris. "Emily, the doctor needs to talk to you. I think he should tell you what happened," he says.

I stand up in, despite Chris telling me to get back into bed. "Emily! Easy," he says. I have this sick feeling that I lost the baby. My heart is already breaking. 

When the doctor comes in, I can already tell it's not going to be good by the expression on his face. "Are you in any pain?" the doctor asks. "I'm sore, what's going on?" I ask. 

"You might want to sit down," he says. "Just tell me what happened?" I demand in a panic. "The placenta came detached from a tear in the wall of your uterus, causing you to miscarry the baby. You started to hemorrhage. Thanks to Chris, he got you here just in time. You lost a lot of blood. We had to give you some blood to stabilize you," he says. I choke back the tears. I feel my knees buckle as Chris tightens his arms around me. 

"I'm sorry, there was nothing I could do to save the baby. The baby was already gone by the time you got here. It was difficult to get the blood to stop until I could repair the tear in your uterus. I did the best I could to repair it, but they're still may be a chance that you may not be able to have any more kids," he says. I'm now in shock, and I can no longer register his words."I'm truly sorry for your loss, if there is anything I can do, don't hesitate to contact me. Here is my phone number," he says as he hands Chris his card. "Also, if you want to see your baby, just let the nurse know. Again, I'm sorry for your loss," he says before he leaves the room. 

He leaves Chris and me alone. I can't even cry. I know I have lost a part of not only myself but my Dimitri. The thought is sickening. 

"Emily," Chris says in a soft voice. My face falls, and I know I can take no more. I have had enough of all this heartache. I have no more tears to cry; my world has become numb. "Do you want to see the baby?" Chris asks. "No, take me home," I say softly.