What Now? Chapter Twenty Three

Chris and Alex are outside doing yard work while I opted to stay in the house today. I'm in the mood for pancakes, so I head into the kitchen. I whip up a batch in no time and they smell wonderful. 

I take my pancakes out to the deck to get some fresh air while eating my pancakes. I'm about halfway through when it starts to rain. I don't get to wet with the umbrella above the table. I finish up my last bite while thinking about Alex and Chris getting rained on. 

Heading in the house, I still so no sign of either of the boys, so I head into the living room to watch some tv while I wait on them to come in. I can't find anything that interests me on tv, so I decided to do something else.  

I head over to the piano, one of my favorite hobbies that I have always liked. I start playing one of my all-time favorite songs. 

Chris sneaks up behind me as I finish my song. "There you are," he says as I turn around to see him smiling at me. "Sorry it took so long, me and Alex got drenched," Chris explains. 

Chris takes me by the hand, helping me up. He leads me over to the stereo, switching the music on. He then spins me to face him, taking my hand into his. "Dance with me," he says playfully. 

I think this is the first time we have actually danced together like this. Chris can actually dance pretty well. 

Chris decides to get fancy when he spins me around. 

It takes me completely off guard as I stumble into him, stepping on his foot. He shrugs it off like it's nothing, but I can tell it hurt. After I goof off with Chris some more, I'm exhausted. "I'm feeling a little bit tired for some reason today. I probably didn't get much sleep last night. If you don't mind, I'm going to take a nap for a little bit, I will catch up with you later," I tell Chris before I head upstairs to my room. 

I don't even bother to take my shoes off or even pull the covers back. I flop down onto the bed and curl up. I close my eyes, and before I know it, I have slept for about an hour when I wake up.

I head to the bathroom to freshen up when I get hit with a dizzy spell right out of nowhere. I grab the sink to steady myself as I regain my balance, and my head starts to clear. 

What's wrong with me, I can't put my finger on it. I'm sick, tired, and my body is all against me. Then I'm hit with another thought. My heart stops.......I can't be.

I head to the store and find myself sneaking back to the bathroom. I pull out the box that contains a pregnancy test. I had been under so much stress that it hadn't dawned on me that I had not been getting my period for quite some time. I take a quick shower as my mind races, and the anxiety spikes. I pull out the test after I get out and pee on the strip. I stand in front of the sink as I watch the test. It's an agonizing wait. 

I stare at the strip as I watch one of the pink lines get darker in one of the windows of the test. I wait, and then another line starts to appear. I'm panicking as I glance over at the box to see what two lines mean. I think I know what it means, but I don't want to be wrong. 

I'm pregnant, this can't be happening. I'm numb all over as the reality sinks in. It all makes sense now. All the symptoms that I was experiencing weren't because I was so stressed out, it was because I was pregnant.

The realization hits me, Dimitri's the father. My heart aches as Dimitri's beautiful face flashes in my memory.  

I have a piece of him with me. I hold my stomach as I try to imagine a little boy with dark hair that looks like his daddy. Oh, it's such a beautiful thought. 

I fall to my knees as the tears run down my cheeks, and I cry big gut-wrenching sobs. I will only be reminded of my loss and all that I went through as I look at this beautiful, innocent child. 

Chris comes running in to find me crying on the floor. "Emily, what's wrong?" he asks as he pulls me up from the floor. He reaches over, wiping the tears that run down my face. 

I walk over to the test that I dropped on the floor. I kneel down, and as I look up at Chris, he has no clue what I'm about to tell him. "I'm pregnant," I choke out. 

Chris gasps. "I had no clue that I was pregnant. There were no early signs of me being pregnant till now. I thought it was stress," I cry out as my tears start again. 

Chris pulls me off the floor for the second time and pulls me to him. He wipes the tears from my face as he tilts my chin up to meet his soft gaze. 

"Emily, I don't care, I know this baby is Dimitri's. He was my best friend, it just makes me want to protect you more and now a little one. I will take care of you both," he whispers. 

His response floors me. "So no more crying, please. I hate to see you cry. I know it wasn't something that was planned, but it's something that we can deal with," he says. 

"Chris, you are an amazing man. I'm lucky to have you in my life," I tell him. He grins down at me.

"So I guess we need to start thinking about getting a place of our own," he says as a small smile plays on his lips. "Do you mean it?" I ask. "If we are planning to start a family, we will need a place of our own," he replies. "I'm sure Alex will not be that thrilled about us leaving," I say as I raise an eyebrow at him. "I'm sure he won't either, He will have to get over it," Chris says in a playful tone. 

Change of Heart, Chapter Twenty Two

When I reach the bottom of the stairs, I stop dead in my tracks as a sick feeling hits me. Chris is following behind me, unaware that I'm about to lose my lunch.

Chris walks around to face me. "Emily, what's wrong?" he asks. I don't have time to answer him as I turn on my heels and dart up the steps.

I run as fast as I can, fighting the urge to throw up. I can only hope I can make it on time. 

I get to the toilet just in time before it all comes up. I hurried several times before it stops. I sit here on the floor, hugging the commode like it's my best friend. I'm feeling a little better until I hear Chris. "Emily, what's wrong with you?" he says with concern. Why is it that he always manages to catch me in the most unladylike of times. "I'm fine," I mumble. "Just my nerves again," I tell him. 

I get up from the floor, flushing the toilet before I face him. I wipe my mouth to make sure I don't have anything on my mouth. "You're not coming down with anything, are you?" he asks. "No, it's nothing," I say as I laugh at him. "What's so funny?" he asks. "Only you," I smirk. 

I walk over to the sink and brush my teeth. I clean up as best as I can. To my surprise, I'm not a total mess like I thought.  

Me and Chris head downstairs to the living room. Alex is out today doing some errands, leaving me and Chris home. I sit down on the couch with Chris. I find that I'm deep in thought. When I look over at Chris, I can tell that he has a lot on his mind as the silence grows between us. I finally break the silence, "I miss them," I sigh. "Me too," he agrees. 

"How did we get into this mess?" I ask. "I don't know, a massive attack of this magnitude has never happened. For them to take out that many guards and to take us by surprise like that, it was so unexpected," he tells me as he rests his head into his hand as his brow creases from strain.

"I have no one left. It feels like I'm so alone," I sigh.

Chris stands up abruptly, pulling me to my feet. "What the heck!" I say as I find that I'm now facing Chris in close proximity. My breath catches as he pulls me closer. "What is it?" I ask as he keeps a serious face. 

He leans into where he's very close. I start to pull away but stop as I wonder what's going on with him. "You have me, let me protect you and take care of you," he whispers. "I know, but it's different," I say.

He puts his forehead to mine. From the look on his face, I can see how torn he is with emotions. I'm not sure what is bothering him so bad today, but I always want to be here for him. He pulls me up against his body, and now his intentions are clear. He's going to kiss me. "I can't," I mummer as I step away from him. 

"I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me. Please don't be mad at me," he says. 

"Chris, don't be sorry, without you I wouldn't be here. I could never be mad at you," I tell him.

"So your not mad," he asks. "No, I could never be mad at you," I reply. He lets out a sigh, followed by Alex hollering at Chris.  

"I will be back," he says as he pulls me into his arms and hugs me tight. He turns and smiles at me as he leaves the room, leaving me with scattered thoughts.

Later that evening, Chris walks into the room with just his PJ pants on. I think Chris loves to show off when he gets the chance. He's always had that playful personality. I've grown used to him running around shirtless these days. We have become so close that the small things are nothing to us anymore.

"Hey," he chimes out as he comes to a halt in front of me. "What are you all happy about?" I ask as I watch him with amusement.

Then he unleashes his playful tickles. I'm giggling and laughing as I twist to try to get away from him. "Chris! Please," I bed as he continues to unleash more tickles. 

When he pulls away, I playfully swat at him. He grins from ear to ear. "What?" he laughs.

He scoops me up and spins me around as he laughs. "Chris put me down," I scream out, followed by laughter. When he stops, his look goes from playful to serious.

"Will you give me a chance..........." he trails off. My heart stops, and I go blank for a second.

I run my hands through his silky hair as I stare down into his blue eyes. "Only you, yes, I will try. You know me better than I know my own self," I whisper. 

"Can we take it slow," I ask. "Anything for you. So, where do you want to go from here?" Chris asks. 

"What?" I ask. If we are to start this new life together, I want to start it with only you and me," Chris says.

I look at this gorgeous man in front of me. I have never looked at Chris like this. We have been best friends for years, never looking at each other this way. Maybe he can free me from the pain that is in my heart. I'll never be able to repay him for saving my life and everything that he has done for me. He is now asking for my heart, can I give it to him? Can I grow to love him? "Give me some time to think, but yes, I like this idea," I reply with a smile.