Gone Wild - Chapter Twenty Seven

 The doctor finally releases me after a few days. My heart sinks every time I think of it. The doctors offered to let me hold the baby, but I refused. I didn't want to see the little life that was once my hope of moving on. I didn't even want to know if the baby was a girl or boy. I knew if I knew, it would only haunt me. Chris handled everything with the baby. 

I head to the bathroom to take a nice hot bath. I had been in the hospital for a week, and a hot bath was something that I missed. 

I sat in the bath until the water started to turn cold. After I dry off and get dressed, I look at myself in the mirror. I hate who is staring back at me. I can't stand my life anymore. I want to run away from all this pain that is ripping me apart from the inside out. 

I decide that I want a change in my life. I let down my new colored hair, put makeup on, and then chose a pretty purple dress. My body has gone back to normal. It's hard to believe I was pregnant only a few weeks ago. I take a look at myself in the mirror. I love my new look. I'm going to go out and experience the world for the first time. Knowing how Chris will protest, I know I will have to avoid him. 

I manage to sneak past Chris, who is asleep on the couch. I head down to the beach. It's just me with the ocean singing to me as the waves come crashing in. 

I pick up a few rocks, skip them across the water. I use to love to do this when I was younger. 

As I'm throwing rocks, I see a rainbow not too far off. It's breathtaking! 

The sun is slowly setting as I make my back up to the house. 

When I arrive, I see Chris standing on the porch with a terrible look on his face. "Where have you been? What have you done to yourself?" he shouts at me.

"It's none of your business. I can go and do as I like, I don't need you to protect me anymore. I don't care if they get me. Let them come! I'm not going to hide for the rest of my life," I shout back at him. His face falls into a frown. 

"You don't want me to protect you anymore? What's going on with you? You're worrying me," Chris says in a sad voice. "Well, don't!" I shout. "Emily, where are you going?" he shouts after me. "Don't follow me," I shout over my shoulder as I leave Chris with his mouth hanging open. 

 I look back after I get down to the beach. Chris is nowhere in sight. I let out a sigh of relief. I didn't want to fight with him. I walk down the beach until I come to one of the local hangouts. Pouring a glass, I drink it really fast. It tastes horrible, but by the second one, it's not that bad.

I have lost track of how many drinks I have had when I almost stumble down the steps. 

After I finish my drink in hand, I head to the dance floor and cut loose. 

Dancing has only made me more thirsty, so I get another drink. After finishing it off, the room starts to spin a bit. I think I have had way too much to drink. 

I try to walk back the way I came but stumble. I had no choice but to call a cab. 

 It seems like a long ride home, and I know I'm going to have to hear it from Chris. Ugg, what to tell him. I shrug the thought off. I can go and do as I please.

When I get home, I try to walk up the steps but only manage to stumble.

When I enter the house, I'm surprised that Chris is not waiting for me. I manage to get over to the couch before I fall. Chris stirs me from my sleep. I must have passed out on the couch. I sit up slowly as I try to get my bearings. I wasn't sure how long I had been asleep. 

When I finally focus, Chris is sitting there staring at me with a worried look on his face. "Where have you been?" he demands. "Don't treat me like a child," I say in a hateful tone. 

Chris goes to walk away when I grab ahold of his arm. "Don't be mad at me," I beg as I try to pull Chris to me. 

He gets up and pulls me to him. "Do you know how worried I was? I looked everywhere for you. I thought they found you," he chokes out. He releases me, finding his will to calm down. 

"I'm tired, I want a normal life," I cry out. Chris stares at me in silence. "So this is what you call a normal life? Look at you, Emily. You don't look or act like the girl I fell in love with. What happened to you?" he says with sadness in his voice.

I push Chris backward causing him to stumble onto the couch. In a bold move, I climb right on his lap, straddling him. His eyes are wide. "Emily!" he chokes out. 

I lean close to him, making him take in a deep breath. "What are you doing? Your not your usual self," he whispers. "I'm finally living," I reply. 

Running my hand down his neck, I feel him tense. He never breaks eye contact from me.

Pulling him close, I kiss his lips. "Emily, we can't," he says. "Yes we can, we can do whatever we want to. It's my life, and I'm choosing to make my own decisions," I tell him as I run my fingers through his hair. 

"What happened to taking things slow?" he asks. "I'm going to live each moment like it's my last, and right now, I want you," I tell him as I plant another kiss on his lips. He ponders it for only a moment. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me closer. 

Chris holds me tight."Emily, please. It's too soon, your only doing this because your upset." he says. "Chris, are you refusing me?" I ask, stunned. "Yes," he replies.