Life Goes On - Chapter Twenty

It's been two months, and night after night I'm startled out of my sleep by own screams. I see their faces, hear their screams, unable to save them from their deaths. I jump out of bed as I try to slow my racing heart. 

It takes me a few moments to realize that it was a nightmare. I shake off the sick feeling that it leaves on me. Chris and Alex use to bust through my door every night, startled by my screams that echo through the night. I begged them to leave me alone in my darkest hours. 

I'm worn down and exhausted. I hate myself and everything that I represent. I never wanted anything to do with being royal. I never wanted to be the one that was next in line for the throne. I just want to be a normal girl. My tears start again for the hundredth time. I'm so tired of crying all the time. Sometimes I wish I would have been killed me along with everyone else. 

I try to shake the feeling that I'm having. So, I head downstairs to watch some tv to try to distract my thoughts. The distraction doesn't last long before the dark thoughts claim me again. Everything on tv just reminds me of my family or a fond memory of them. 

My tears start all anew. I'm lost again as I see all their faces over and over as they all die.  

Chris pulls me from my dark thoughts. "Emily, please don't cry. I hate to see you cry. Please talk to me. Was it another nightmare?" he asks. 

"I can't get the sight of their deaths out of my head. I hear their screams and see their faces as I watch them die over and over again. I can't handle this. I can't go on living like this," I tell him between my sobs.

"They're going to find us, I just know it. I just want all this to be over. I don't want to be scared all the time. I think if I had maybe distracted nightwalkers, Dimitri would still be alive and with us. I might have died with everyone else, and then I wouldn't be here living in this nightmare that I'm living. 

Chris pulls me into his arms to comfort me. "Hush, it's going to be alright. Maybe not right now, but we will get through this. We can start a new life. One that we can leave our old lives behind and start a new". My tears start again as I live a life without my family, friends, and Dimitri. Chris pulls me closer, and I, for once, find a little hope, a new life with Chris. Can I do this? 

As daylight approached, I head into the kitchen and start to prepare some breakfast. It's been part of my new routine that I have made myself do. I have to keep going, get out of bed, and move on. As I make breakfast, I think back on how much I had to learn. I never cooked when I was at home, and now I was getting pretty good at it. 

As I take out some more ingredients from the fridge, I find Chris is cleaning up the kitchen. It's so weird seeing him do dishes and cleaning. At one time, it was all about working out and doing guy things, how things have changed in just a short time. I push those thoughts from my mind as I continue cooking. 

I finished the pancakes and set them down on the counter for the guys to eat when they were ready. Me, on the other hand, I'm ready to dig into them. I'm so hungry that it's almost carnal.

My pancakes have turned out pretty good. Each bite brings pleasure to my mouth. 

After I eat and clean up, I head to the game room to play some pool, its distracting enough. I find that I'm getting really good at it. I didn't realize playing would be so much fun.  

"Can I join you?" Alex asks as he walks over to me. "Oh, I'm not that good. I guess it would be nice to have someone to play with," I reply as he grins at me.

I set up for a shot and do pretty good. I'm still no match for Alex at this game. I sink a few as he smirks at me.

He sets up to win the game. Without taking his eye off the ball, "I arranged for you some new clothes and stuff. I hope you don't mind. I had them put in your room," he says. What! He did what. Oh my. "You didn't have to do that," I whisper. "I know I don't, but I enjoyed it really, I just don't want to offend you. It's just me being nice," he adds. "Thank you," I reply.

After Alex beats me at a game of pool, I head up to my room. When I open my closet, I'm shocked to see it's full. I know he didn't have to do this, but this feels too much. I pick out a swimsuit and head to the pool.  

I will do some sunbathing today or go for a swim. I'm too scared to go anywhere else, so spending time at Alex's house is my safe zone. It took two weeks to stop jumping at every sound. But the thoughts are still there. That one day they will find me.  

After laying and dozing for a few, I decide its probably a good time to have a dip in the pool. 

Alex grins at me as he gets out of the pool and heads to the diving board yet again.

He dives in making quite a splash, which makes me giggle a little. I decided to try it myself. I walk out on the diving board as it wobbles, and I'm sure I look silly, almost falling off of it. Here goes nothing. I leap off the board and do a belly flop. Ouch.

Chris is in his own world right now, reading a book while floating in the pool. I still have no idea why he does it; books and water don't mix. So Alex and I try to stay to the other side of the pool to keep from getting Chris and his book wet. 

"I know I haven't been very friendly or even talkative. I just wanted to say thank you again for letting us stay here," I tell Alex. "For you, anytime, no rush to find a place. You have a place here as long as you want," he says to me. After a short conversation, I head inside.

Alex has a piano very similar to the one we had. I sit down and begin to play. I must have played several songs before I noticed that Alex was standing listening to me. "That's very lovely, I can play a little, but you, you are amazing," he says. 

I get up and walk over to Alex, who is standing in shorts now, he must have changed his clothes since I have been playing. Why does he always seem to be topless around me? Geeze, it's so distracting. "Emily, you know I have never met a girl like you, besides the whole fairy part. I was wondering if you would like to go out on a date with me," he asks. Oh no, I stop breathing. 

I've lost my words, sense of speech has gone and left me. I don't want to hurt Alex since he's been so good to Chris and me. I could never love anyone else, "I......well, om. I don't," is all I get out when Chris enters. 

"Hey Alex, can I see you in the kitchen," Chris says with an angry look on his face. Shew! I let out a breath that I must have been holding while trying to tell him that I can't see him like that. That I'm broken and will never be able to get past that. 

I can't help but spy on them, what in the world could Chris want to tell Alex that has him so disturbed. "I can see that you like Emily, but don't! She's been through hell and back, and this is something that she can't handle right now. She might not know this herself, but she's barely holding on to her sanity. What we went through was hell. I know I was supposed to give you details, but I just couldn't even bring myself to talk about it", he tells Alex.  

"I know it was bad, and well, I respect that. Maybe if I know more about what happened, then I would understand what you and Emily are going through. I could maybe help," Alex says. "I think if you stop pursuing Emily, that will help. That would indeed help," Chris tells Alex. I had no clue that Chris had not told him about what happened. 

"Ok, well, you know she's a fairy, but she was also the princess to the slaughtered family a few months ago. They did say that they figured she was dead even though they couldn't find her body, well we managed to escape, but the rest were not as lucky as we were. Emily watched her sister that we all thought was dead, murder her boyfriend right in front of her. Not only that, but Emily's sister was also now a Night Walker.  She watched as all her family and friends were killed right in front of her. We would have been too, but................some of the others arrived giving us a window to escape. They gave their lives up for us. And one of them was my girlfriend. So yes, that's why neither one of us talked about it. Alex's mouth is on the floor. He's gaping at Chris. "You should have told me. A princess, are you kidding me. I had no idea. I read about the massacre in the papers. It was a horrific crime that they still have not solved. They have an idea, but no leads yet. I will back off, but you can't blame me. She's gorgeous!" he grins. Oh no, he thinks I'm gorgeous. My heart sinks.

I run a bath to make myself feel a little better. Oh, the the water feels so good.

After I climb out, I set out the clothes and begin to put my makeup on. My face has finally healed, and I look almost myself again. I feel like I have aged a hundred years, but for the most part, I look like me. 

I don't think I will ever feel normal again, but I have to start thinking about how to start over. They all sacrificed their lives to give me this chance at a life that I wouldn't have without their sacrifice. 

I pull my hair up, and it's strange looking at myself in the mirror. I haven't looked like this since. Stop it, Emily, I scold myself. Not bad, I think, as I step back, looking in the mirror. I get dressed and head downstairs. 

The clothes fit perfectly, and I feel much better. 

I run into Chris in the living room, and he's gaping at me. "You look amazing," Chris whispers. 

I grab Chris and give him a big hug. "Thank you for doing what you did. I can never repay you for your kindness. And well, keeping me from going insane," I tell him. "I would do it again, and will always keep you safe," he replies.